28 March 2011

Had I the days in hand to string,
Only in forest they'd be strewn,
But circumstances drive us on
In narrow paths by Kismet hewn.
For Fate has ways we cannot change
While weakness preys upon our Will.
We bolster with excuse the self,
And help that Fate ourselves to kill.
Kahl├Čl Gibran translated by G. Kheirallah 1958

27 March 2011

And on a Rainy Night - Shawn Mullins

february rain smoky mountain fire
like a hummingbird to cane
just following desire
watch the firelight
throw shadows across the room
many miles away
not far from cannery row
he beats on his guitar
and does his little show
and all the people say
you got balls to play the game this way
it's one in a million
so he fills all the holes
with good wine from mussel sholes
and the cencemillian
these streets were bound to cross
maybe lifetimes ago
whenever innocence is lost
we got a long way to go
we got a long way
watch the firelight throw
shadows across the room
and on a rainy night
two lovers held each other tight
in the moonlight (he felt so good in her arms)
in the moonlight (he felt so good in her arms)
in the moonlight (he felt so good in her arms)

23 March 2011

Bad Day - R.E.M.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hyk-Vdd_Qrk

A public service announcement followed me home the other day.
I paid it nevermind. Go Away.
Shits so thick you could stir it with a stick-free Teflon whitewashed presidency.
We're sick of being jerked around.
Wear that on your sleeve.

Broadcast me a joyful noise unto the times, lord,
Count your blessings.
We're sick of being jerked around.
We all fall down.

Have you ever seen the televised St. vitus subcommittee prize
Investigation dance? Those ants in pants glances.
Well,look behind the eyes.
It's a hallowed hollow anesthetized
"save my own ass, screw these guys"
smoke and mirror lock down.

Broadcast me a joyful noise unto the times, lord,
Count your blessings.
The Papers wouldn't lie!
I sigh, Not one more.

It's been a bad day.
Please don't take a picture.
It's been a bad day.
Please.

We're dug in deep the price is steep.
The auctioneer is such a creep.

The lights went out, the oil ran dry
We blamed it on the other guy
Sure, all men are created equal.
Heres the church, heres the steeple
Please stay tuned-we cut to sequel
ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

Broadcast me a joyful noise unto the times, lord,
Count your blessings.
Ignore the lower fear
Ugh, this means war.

It's been a bad day.
Please don't take a picture.
It's been a bad day.
Please.

Broadcast me a joyful noise unto the times, lord,
Count your blessings.
We're sick of being jerked around.
We all fall down.

It's been a bad day...

13 March 2011

Toxicity cures

http://counsellingresource.com/ask-the-psychologist/2009/01/19/get-rid-of-toxic-father/

A: Toxic parents /Narcissistic Personality. Normal people — those who think in a healthy manner — have tremendous difficulty with Personality Disorders because they don’t think, behave and feel like the rest of society. They live their lives through selfishness, deception, lies, excuses, manipulations, cons, and blaming others. They never accept responsibility for their bad and abusive behavior and consistently blame others. It will always be your fault that this person treats you poorly.

You make the classic mistake of taking their excuses seriously — when they’re just excuses. Let’s look at this objectively. Your father doesn’t see you the most of your life, treats you very poorly, is disrespectful, manipulates you and other women in his life, and his explanation is (fill in the blanks). The general guideline: You can’t understand the behavior of a Personality Disorder by thinking normally! You have a toxic relationship because your father is toxic — not you. Dealing with your father is actually about dealing with Personality Disorders.

Some recommendations:

Recognize that this person behaves in a totally selfish manner because he’s totally selfish. It has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with you, being female, being third born, etc. While he has provided a variety of explanations and excuses over the years, bulls produce that same product after a big meal. There is no connection between his excuses, you, and his behavior. You want an explanation — a Personality Disorder will provide one. Don’t torment yourself or become upset by his excuses and comments.

While it may seem like a “normal” solution to discuss your feelings with him, it’s actually of little help. You’ll only get another excuse or verbal abuse. Sadly, he actually doesn’t care how you feel or think, even about him. As time passes, you’ll also find that he doesn’t care about your children as well. He uses the comments about your parenting to emotionally batter you and keep you from confronting him. Don’t discuss your feelings with him — he doesn’t care, and he’ll only attack you. Rather, fix those feelings. Talk to a therapist or counselor.

What do we do with a toxic father? We protect ourselves first, reducing information provided to him to a grocery-store level, the kind of conversation you have with a neighbor in the bread section. We don’t look for answers — he doesn’t have any. We live with a what-you-see-is-what-you-get expectation that you can expect selfish, rude, insulting and mean-spirited behavior from him. You didn’t cause his personality, and you can’t fix it. We keep him at an emotional distance and use a business approach to all contacts and interactions. Just facts and details — no emotions or feelings.

Your father has damaged your ability to relate to men in your life, and this is very common in these situations. Remember that 15% of the population has a Personality Disorder — not all men. Your struggle with your toxic father has created thousands of bad memories that might be triggered by the comments of people, especially men, around you. Those memory triggers cause you to put down men “in a heartbeat” as you impulsively react to the triggered memory.

You can’t get rid of him but you can minimize his influence and involvement in your life. Create a new family with friends and loved ones, and continue your life. You can check on your father at any time in the future…and he’ll still be operating the same way…and it will still be your fault.
We cure the effects of a toxic substance by neutralizing it. You can do the same with your toxic father by neutralizing his influence on your life and self-esteem.

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9 March 2011

Middle of the Road - The Pretenders



In the middle of the road,
Is trying to find me.
I'm standing in the middle of life with my pains behind me.

But, I got a smile
For everyone I meet.
Long as you don't try dragging my bay,
Or dropping a bomb on the street.

Come on baby,
Get in the road.
Come on now,
In the middle of the road, yeah.

In the middle of the road,
You see the darnest things.
Like fat cats driving around in jeeps through the city,
Wearing big diamond rings and silk suits.
Past corrugated tin shacks holed up with kids and
Man I don't mean a Hampstead nursery.
But when you own a big chunk of the bloody third world,
The babies just come with the scenery.

Come on baby,
Get in the road.
Come on now,
In the middle of the road, yeah.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.

In the middle of the road,
Is my private cul de sac.
I can't get from the cab to the curb,
Without some little jerk on my back,
Don't harass me kid,
Can't you tell I'm going home, I'm tired as hell,
I'm not the cat I used to be,
I've got a kid, I'm thirty-three baby.
Get in the road.
Come on now,
In the middle of the road.