Motherly advice

My father hadn't been feeling well for many months but chalked it up to stress since he just opened a new restaurant. He started drastically losing weight and finally decided to check into a hospital on May 24 to determine what exactly was going on.

On May 25 the word came back to his family of the diagnosis. We were pre-warned that it was going to be bad. Pancreatic cancer, late or end stage, and not operable. My father is not telling us what his expected life expectancy is but from a quick Internet search it is easy to see that he may not have long. I am not saying that to be pessimistic, but realistic. I hope and pray every day he will surprise us and live for many years.

1970 Tisdale, Saskatchewan

He opted for a clinical trial and has had the first round of chemotherapy. He is exhausted, very nauseous, and I believe, becoming depressed. The same man who a month ago was flying to and from Thunder Bay, launching a restaurant, preparing for the opening of his fishing lodge and planning his next adventure overseas is now stuck, sitting, helpless, unable to stay awake and frustrated by his body telling him his time is coming.

Since the diagnosis, well-meaning friends and relatives have been offering advice and words intended to comfort me. Some of the words do help, although I find that I feel the most helped when the person simply lets me do the talking. Remembering this I have been talking to my children about the possibility of their beloved grandfather (the only one they really have in their lives) not being able to see them again.

My children are 20, 17 and 13 years old respectively.  Last night I blurted out to "prepare for the worst, but hope for the best". And then I listened. And cried. And listened some more.

When I hung up the phone though, I wondered how I could follow my own advice. How do you "prepare" for the death of your father? Should I write, scream, cry, rail at the fates, what? There really isn't anyway to prepare yourself other than to feel it and try not to let it overwhelm you.

Me and my father have always had a rocky relationship. Neither one of us likes to be told what we should do, even from someone with the best intentions. My father wasn't always present in mine or my children's lives and I used to carry resentment that my sisters and brother's families had him to themselves mostly. I used to come to town with my kids for a visit and he would be there for a big family gathering one day and then flying out of town the next for a business trip. We very rarely had any one-on-one time with him; handfuls of those moments over the years would not add up to much. But those times were still precious and my children are better off.

2010 Cruise

Because that's who he is. I love him and have learned to accept him for that over the past couple of years. I've let go of my resentment. I just remember how I felt when someone told me that I was crazy to quit my cushy government job and go back to school or that I should have stayed married to a seemingly good man instead of divorcing him. No one really knows what happens behind closed doors. No one really knows what one can live with or what one is capable of doing.

Except for you.

I've made mistakes, I've thrown alot of baggage away and I've learned that, like my father, I can't live my life for my children, my parents, my siblings or anyone. I live it for me and I love my father for living his life for himself. He has created a legacy in the businesses he's built and they will live on long after he's gone. I know he always wanted me to be more of a part of them but I learned from the master. I follow my footsteps to where I need to be. I hope my children do too ♥

walking through leaving
watch the wind breezing
earth caresses of breathing
through hair, into skin
flying past and within
memories; messages that last
sway slow enough to grasp
let close to your heart
whisper "it's there that you start"

May 20, 2012

Mushroom Stroganoff, two versions

Mushroom Stroganoff

This is a vegan take on beef strog. It is easy to make, tastes delicious and is quite versatile.

Ingredients

1 tbsp olive oil

1 onion, diced

1 clove garlic, crushed

half a yellow pepper, diced

250g button mushrooms, sliced

1 tsp dried coriander

1 tsp mixed spice

400ml tin of coconut milk

Method

Gently fry the onion, garlic and yellow pepper in the olive oil for a couple of mins until starting to soften.

Add the mushrooms, turn the heat up and cook until starting to brown.

Add the rest of the ingredients, stir well, season to taste and reduce the heat so that it bubbles gently for 20 to 30 mins, stirring occasionally. (The sauce should reduce and thicken to a lovely creamy consistency.)

That's it!

Notes

This is lovely with a mix of white and brown mushrooms too. Serve with boiled rice, salad tossed in vinaigrette and garlic bread (made with vegan marg or olive oil). Yum!

(from: http://www.veganvillage.co.uk/recipes/stroganoff.htm)

Vegan Mushroom Stroganoff 

This is a fast, easy recipe that can be made for a weeknight dinner.

Ingredients:
1 medium onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 pound mushrooms, thinly sliced
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon dried tarragon (it's even better with fresh tarragon to taste if you have it)
1 tablespoon paprika, sweet
1 cup vegetable broth (I use low or no salt)
2 tablespoons tahini (I often substitute raw unhulled sesame seeds and blend with the broth)

In a non-stick skillet, water sauté the onion and garlic briefly, then add the sliced mushrooms, and cook until the mushrooms are soft.

Add lemon juice, tarragon, and paprika and mix well.  Warm the broth briefly in the microwave if it's cold, then blend with the tahini in a blender.  If you have a high speed blender like a Vita-mix you can easily substitute 4 TBSP raw sesame seeds and blend with the broth, then add to the skillet with the mushrooms.
Mix together well and bring to a low simmer to blend the flavors.

Makes approx. 4 servings.  Serve with noodles, over a baked potato, on toast, or on steamed greens.  
(from: http://blog.susanscooking.com/2009/10/13/vegan-mushroom-stroganoff.aspx)

CBC's Nature of Things: Smarty Plants

Smarty Plants: Uncovering the secret world of plant behaviour, March 22, 2012.
Link to full epidsode (45m)

A fascinating look at the secret world of plants by CBC's The Nature of Things

Is it possible that plants are smarter than we think?
They are among the world’s oldest and most successful organisms and represent some of the strangest and longest living life forms on the planet. Stunningly diverse, plants have served us in many critical ways, from providing food, shelter and clothing to life-saving medicine. And yet we know very little about them.

A luscious exploration of the natural world, Smarty Plants effortlessly integrates pioneering science with a light hearted look at how plants behave, revealing a world where plants are as busy, responsive and complex as we are.

From the stunning heights of Utah’s Great Basin Desert to the rainforests of Canada’s west coast, Smarty Plants follows lead scientist and ecologist JC Cahill as he treks the green world and discovers that plants are a lot more like animals than we ever imagined. The world he reveals is one where plants eavesdrop on each other, talk to their enemies, call in insect allies to fight those enemies, recognize their relatives and nurture their young. 

Sure, we’ve counted and classified plants. We’ve even unlocked the secrets of their photosynthesizing powers. But overall, it’s been far more interesting to study the animal world because animals move and demonstrate behavior, if not outright intelligence. Plants, on the other hand, just sit there.

Don’t they?

Not according to Cahill, who has been studying plants for more than two decades.

“Twenty years ago just uttering the words behavior and plants in the same sentence would have resulted in scientific excommunication!” Cahill insists. “And that’s because for a long time, I think, we were hung up on the fact that plants are sessile, they don’t move, or at least we don’t see them move. And because of who we are, I think we’ve always equated behavior, even intelligence, with movement.”

Fungal network (CBC/Merit Motion Pictures)

 

Exploding the myth of a passive plant world, this film uncovers the real “secret world” of plants and reveals a landscape pulsing with sex, movement, communication, and social interaction. This is a world where plants talk, forage, wage war and protect their kin; a world where plants behave a lot like us.

Featuring global locations, spectacular time-lapse photography and CGI, and new scientific discoveries, Smarty Plants uncovers a hidden world exposed through the work of Cahill and a team of globetrotting scientists. These experts include: Ian Baldwin (Max Planck Institute for Chemical Ecology); Consuelo De Moraes (Penn State); Mark Mescher (Penn State); Susan Dudley (McMaster University); Ray Callaway (University of Montana); Suzanne Simard (University of British Columbia).

Produced by Merit Motion Pictures and directed by Erna Buffie in association with the CBC Science and Natural History Documentary Unit.

The Primeval Well of the Human Psyche

Burritos

Black Bean Burritos 
via: vegetarian.about.com

This is a quick and easy basic recipe for a vegetarian and vegan bean burrito. Toss in some extra toppings such as non-dairy sour cream, homemade guacamole, salsa, black olives, or whatever you have on hand.

Ingredients:

2 cups leftover pre-cooked rice
juice from 2 limes
2 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 onion, diced
3-4 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 15 ounce can black beans
1/2 onion, diced
1 tbsp chili powder
1/2 tsp cumin
1 tbsp hot sauce, or to taste
4-6 flour tortillas

Preparation:

In a large bowl, toss together the fresh cilantro with the rice and drizzle with lime juice. Heat in the microwave on on the stove just until hot.
In a separate large skillet, sautee the onion and garlic in olive oil for 2 - 3 minutes, or until onion is soft.

Reduce heat to medium low and add black beans and remaining ingredients (except flour tortillas). Stir to combine, and allow to cook until heated through, about 5 minutes.

Spoon rice and beans onto flour tortillas, and add any additional toppings you want, such as vegan cheese, salsa, avocado slices, black olives or non-dairy sour cream. Wrap your bean and rice burritos and serve hot.


Spicy Sweet Potato and Black Bean Burrito
(via: vegweb.com)

Ingredients (use vegan versions):

    1 large sweet potato
    1/4 cup chili powder
    1 teaspoon garlic powder
    1 tablespoon cumin
    Dash cayenne
    1 teaspoon oregano
    1/4 cup diced red onion
    1 cup cooked black beans
    1/2 cup diced green bell pepper
    1/2 cup cooked brown rice
    1/4 cup frozen corn kernels  
    3/4 cup tomato sauce
    1/4 cup canned diced green chilies
    3 cups roughly chopped kale
    6 corn tortillas
    1/4 cup diced tomato
    1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley

Directions:

1) Wash sweet potato and peel, if desired. Bring large pot of water to boil. Add sweet potato, cut in large chunks, and boil until tender, about 30 minutes. When easily pierced with a fork, it's done.

2) Meanwhile, combine the chili powder, garlic powder, cumin, cayenne, and oregano.

3) Saute the red onion on medium-low heat in a small amount of water until soft and slightly translucent, roughly 5 to 10 minutes. Add half of the mixed spices, black beans, bell pepper, rice, corn, tomato sauce and green chilies. Cook on medium heat, stirring occasionally, for 10 minutes. Lastly, stir in the kale and heat until bright green and just wilted. Remove from heat.

4) When sweet potato is cooked, mash until smooth with the remaining half of spice mixture. Heat corn tortillas between two damp paper towels in microwave for 30 seconds.

5) Spread mashed sweet potato down the center of each tortilla. Top with the black bean and veggie mix. Roll and serve topped with diced tomato and fresh parsley.

Source of recipe: I'm big on sweet potatoes- loaded with health benefits, they're versatile and satisfying. This recipe, born from leftovers, is an easy and fresh way to combine healthy ingredients.

Makes: 6 burritos, Preparation time: 15 minutes, Cooking time: 35 minutes

Broken

I've broke it again, that feeling of when
we were friends, and then more
and you wanted to soar on the vibe
but really inside saw the end

was in sight, try all your might
to be sure that I'm not the one
I'm still on the run, I don't want to be us
not ready for trust, can't bear the pain

of breaking it again.