Some RAD Lessons

August 25, 2012

Beyond the basics of learning to fish, to cook, to bartend, waitress, light a campfire, split firewood, work a front desk and a pellet stove, I’d like to share just a few of the numerous things my father taught me over the years.

Spend Christmas Eve watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” Whatever stresses you’ve been under will dissappear.

Never give up. Even on the Toronto Maple Leafs.

I learned to buy quality. Unless you see something nifty on an infomercial. Then buy quantity.

Dipping crusty bread into good olive oil, parmesan cheese and fresh pepper is heavenly.

I learned it’s ok to cook at your own wedding.

No matter the weather or number of diners, amazing gourmet meals can be served on islands and at campsites.

I learned that cast iron frying pans come in really, really big sizes.

If I asked him to be there, my father would always be counted on for advice on life’s challenges. Not that he ever needed to be asked. 

Ruby Island is a wonderful place for treasure hunts.

I learned that you can tell the same story to the same people a million times and they will still want to hear it if you tell it right. Storytelling is an art and he was a master.

Keep both eyes on the road. You never know when a flaming tire will come rolling down the highway at you.

Fish everywhere and often.

I learned how hard it is to be humble.

Fedoras are cool.

Be creative, tap into your unique gifts to the world. Then be brave enough to act upon your knowledge.

 

Believe in love and it will find you. If you’re lucky, more than once. My father was a very, very, very, very lucky man.

I learned to always carry a pocketknife. And a flashlight. And pliers. And toliet paper. Always.

Hornepayne, Ontario has the best Baked Alaska ever, especially delicious after a 'controlled landing' (NOT called a crash or emergency landing). 

If you really need to, you can sleep anywhere.

I learned that even if you’ve been to Shanghai, Guatemala, Rome or New Zealand, the best sunset is right off his dock on Pelican Lake.

I learned that even after he was gone that he found a way to let us know he was okay. 

I learned which words carry the most power.  “I love you”, “Goodbye” and “I miss you”.

Michelle Aura Davidson

for Richard Allen Davidson 1942 - 2012 

Seeds

hard not to be swayed
by the many whispered ways
cold hard cash seems to say

"I'll make things easy you see
so you too can be worry free
Refilling the want-what-you/they-want-now
make it up as you go" and not think about how

We/they'll return again to the poisons
that weave our cocoon, bubbled into our choices
that don't buy love or time or people back from the dead
all the money in the world wont buy peace in your/that head

And it's no small wonder we/they're broken
so few to show them
stealing innocence from youth
Leaves you wandering, few
who can teach them/us to garden, fill in the hollow
to candlelight down the path for others to follow

hear/speak the quiet whisper, "I wanna peek at your soul
where it goes
in the throes
What it has, what it needs
when the wind will blow the seeds
which grow from that, from us, home."

The Scientist - Coldplay

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorryYou don't know how lovely you areI had to find you, tell you I need youTell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questionsOh, let's go back to the startRunning in circles, coming up tailsHeads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easyIt's such a shame for us to partNobody said it was easyNo one ever said it would be this hardOh, take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figuresPulling the puzzles apartQuestions of science, science and progressDo not speak as loud as my heart

But tell me you love me, come back and haunt meOh and I rush to the startRunning in circles, chasing our tailsComing back as we are

Nobody said it was easyOh, it's such a shame for us to partNobody said it was easyNo one ever said it would be so hardI'm going back to the start

Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh oohAh ooh, ooh ooh ooh oohOh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh

February 2009

Kings and Queens

Nov 2011

Things that are made last literally forever
get tossed tomorrow, cheap and useless
Like how some people get treated, and feel
Because Plastic and "perfect"
Is too much to bear
These things others have created
Pile up in perpetual guilt filled feed back
loops of consumption, instant gratification
That comes with playing
Kings and Queens
On our thrones on bones
 of the earth
medieval gluttony in every house
Instead of one castle on every other hill
And making BobbleHeads and Kinder Surprises
Our crowns that outlast our childrens, children's, children etc

I had to Fall to see. And Fail.
And stand again anyways. Rebuild one shame at a time
Through pride in my gifts from Creator,
That something that truly lasts forever,  a legacy
To speak my truth like no one else can
To brave rejection, cold loneliness
Until my soul speaks. And I listen
To reach out to someone who still can't
Get up out of the Plastic to see
Imperfect
Beautiful
Short
Lives we rule

Things don't have to be white to be pure
I don't have to know for sure
That dreams can go a-flying
True Kings and Queens are built by trying

Weaving

Working on the stitching
to sew through skin without
flinching

Although it cuts me to the bone
I will not turn to
stone

I'LL stand stoic & weave
memories into blankets of
grief

If I pull through each pain
to survive each small
wave

Maybe I wont be engulfed the dayi won't see you
again

Motherly advice

My father hadn't been feeling well for many months but chalked it up to stress since he just opened a new restaurant. He started drastically losing weight and finally decided to check into a hospital on May 24 to determine what exactly was going on.

On May 25 the word came back to his family of the diagnosis. We were pre-warned that it was going to be bad. Pancreatic cancer, late or end stage, and not operable. My father is not telling us what his expected life expectancy is but from a quick Internet search it is easy to see that he may not have long. I am not saying that to be pessimistic, but realistic. I hope and pray every day he will surprise us and live for many years.

1970 Tisdale, Saskatchewan

He opted for a clinical trial and has had the first round of chemotherapy. He is exhausted, very nauseous, and I believe, becoming depressed. The same man who a month ago was flying to and from Thunder Bay, launching a restaurant, preparing for the opening of his fishing lodge and planning his next adventure overseas is now stuck, sitting, helpless, unable to stay awake and frustrated by his body telling him his time is coming.

Since the diagnosis, well-meaning friends and relatives have been offering advice and words intended to comfort me. Some of the words do help, although I find that I feel the most helped when the person simply lets me do the talking. Remembering this I have been talking to my children about the possibility of their beloved grandfather (the only one they really have in their lives) not being able to see them again.

My children are 20, 17 and 13 years old respectively.  Last night I blurted out to "prepare for the worst, but hope for the best". And then I listened. And cried. And listened some more.

When I hung up the phone though, I wondered how I could follow my own advice. How do you "prepare" for the death of your father? Should I write, scream, cry, rail at the fates, what? There really isn't anyway to prepare yourself other than to feel it and try not to let it overwhelm you.

Me and my father have always had a rocky relationship. Neither one of us likes to be told what we should do, even from someone with the best intentions. My father wasn't always present in mine or my children's lives and I used to carry resentment that my sisters and brother's families had him to themselves mostly. I used to come to town with my kids for a visit and he would be there for a big family gathering one day and then flying out of town the next for a business trip. We very rarely had any one-on-one time with him; handfuls of those moments over the years would not add up to much. But those times were still precious and my children are better off.

2010 Cruise

Because that's who he is. I love him and have learned to accept him for that over the past couple of years. I've let go of my resentment. I just remember how I felt when someone told me that I was crazy to quit my cushy government job and go back to school or that I should have stayed married to a seemingly good man instead of divorcing him. No one really knows what happens behind closed doors. No one really knows what one can live with or what one is capable of doing.

Except for you.

I've made mistakes, I've thrown alot of baggage away and I've learned that, like my father, I can't live my life for my children, my parents, my siblings or anyone. I live it for me and I love my father for living his life for himself. He has created a legacy in the businesses he's built and they will live on long after he's gone. I know he always wanted me to be more of a part of them but I learned from the master. I follow my footsteps to where I need to be. I hope my children do too ♥

walking through leaving
watch the wind breezing
earth caresses of breathing
through hair, into skin
flying past and within
memories; messages that last
sway slow enough to grasp
let close to your heart
whisper "it's there that you start"

May 20, 2012